She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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