we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
