And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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