the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
