so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
