so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
