You smell like a Billy Joel song
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
