college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
