Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
