But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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