love makes seman taste better
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
