bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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