My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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