Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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