There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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