I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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