marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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