WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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