just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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