I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
