If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Dicks are not precious.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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