I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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