what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
