i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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