I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize