Where is the hickey?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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