ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize