Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
