She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
