Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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