dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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