As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Bring me that man meat
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
