Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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