yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
she smelled like a LAN party
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
