when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
