Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
That accounts for only three of the penises
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
