8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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