It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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