My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize