If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Randomize
