Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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