absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
