i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
