I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
