I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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