:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Congratulations! We have a period
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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