You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
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