i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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