either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I wish I only lived at night.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
