She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize