the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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