i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
