belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
