I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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