Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
