they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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