there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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