question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize