I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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