Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
