Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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