yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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