one two three fourrrrnication!
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
