either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I wish life had little blips of pornography
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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