ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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