My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
