Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(778): View more from British Columbia

shes about as inviting as chlamydia

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(402): View more from Nebraska

she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl

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(919): View more from North Carolina

i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.

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(269): View more from Michigan

I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(

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(702): View more from Nevada

Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.

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(718): View more from New York

He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina

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(440): View more from Ohio

Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol

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