i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
